Hike My Ass Up and Over. Change Gonna Come.

When I think of Scotland in the future, I'll think of the smell of perpetual humid fall, a chill that seeps into your bones, a lilt of music in the people's voices, soft rain (or torrential rain, depending on which minute of the day you are in), the smell of stale beer, fish and chips, and the Neds axe body cologne that must have been put on in layers.  Surprisingly enough, the whole scene is comforting.  I enjoy hearing bag pipes as I walk home, whether they be playing traditional scottish highland tunes, or a version of Led Zeppelin.  I've said it before, but I'm comfortable here. Not necessarily just Glasgow, but the UK in general.  It will be...unsettling to leave it.  It isn't just leaving school for the last time that unsettles me.  Actually it isn't that at all.  I'm done with school and am ready to start being paid instead of doing all the paying, for what I love.  But Europe, I will miss.  The feeling of a tight theatre family, I will miss.  This particular family.

This week has been exhausting.  (I sat here trying to find a more interesting word than exhausted but found myself too tired to try so I went with it.)  We've still very much been in the experimental stage of rehearsals.  I am beginning to find my footing, or finning in this case, for the Mermaid.  (I apologize.  That was a lame attempt at a joke. But the delete button is too far away from my pinky in my worn out state.  So it stays.  Matter of fact, all typos will stay as well.  On principle.)
In one rehearsal, we spent a good amount of time finding our animal, like we did when Glynn taught us at the Globe.  I, however, am a mermaid.  So my animal, is a fish.  Shocking.  I know.  So I spent some time in movement, trying to feel how a fish moves...out of water.  I am sort of sticking with an undulation or wave like feel.  But it's very confusing finding that balance between human and animal.  How primal is she?  How aggressive?  How weak?  What does she think of humans?  Is she dangerous?  Is she intelligent?  How long can she survive out of water?  And how the hell am I suppose to be a mermaid without feeling like a total idiot?
We did many a day on Chekhov's gestures, then running the scene thinking about the gestures, then running the scene naturalistically.  We've run the show with me only mouthing my lines so that the characters that don't hear the mermaid speak can feel what it is like and where the pauses are that they have to fill with action while I'm speaking.  We've done a run where we have to say every line differently that we've ever said it before and make big choices, so we don't get too stale. 
We've spent two days working on Atmosphere.  What is the feeling in the room at the top of the show?  When does it change?  How does it change?  How do we change it to what we want it to be?  Thank God this has been my research project otherwise I'd be totally lost.  And even so, it's a funny thing to try and build an atmosphere that is "warm orangy light" or "dark thunderous storm"  or "dripping puddles" or "chrome metallic."  Although, in truth, atmosphere isn't about what you call it, it's about what feels right.  All actors have to feel what they have built, recognize how they built it, and therefore be able to build it again.  You could name it Yeehaw Caddywhompus if you wanted to and it wouldn't matter, just as long as your Yeehaw is the same Yeehaw as mine. 
Oof.  I am all over the place tonight.  Apologies.

Today we did a run through of the entire show for the tech crew and then we did a run with beats.  Beats is where the director (or anyone not in the show) reads the script out loud beat by beat without vocal inflection.  After each beat, the character who says the line (beat) takes in the line, feels the intention, and then says their line with the proper inflection.  Now the "proper" inflection comes from listening and responding to the other characters and how they said their "beat."  It is a lesson in action/reaction and forcing an actor to be generous.  It is also incredibly exhausting (there's that word again).  It also took my lines in a completely different direction.  Then again, I've been all over the place with her as it is.  I've also been tied up with butcher string, saran wrapped all around my lower half, and bruised up from flopping around on a metal table.  So I'm beat.  But I think we are making progress.  And progress is good.

I am enjoying working with these people immensely.  Most are naturally generous and I feel safe in trying almost anything.  Which is good considering the weird stuff we've done so far.  LM has been rambunctious and always keeps me on my toes.  He is never the same when he delivers, which keeps things fresh and a little dangerous.  But I trust him and even though we've got some rather intense moments (i.e. his character cuts me with a knife and licks it, for starters) I have yet to feel unnerved by any of our scene work.

Next week we are at the Edinburgh Fringe for Monday and Tuesday and won't be back to rehearsals until Weds.  But PB says that we have another costume meeting then so we can make some more solid decisions.  I think I will feel SO much better once it is finalized.  Because at this point, it could be anything.  And "anything" makes me nervous.

I'd also like to bring up a unimportant but humorous occurrence.  The metal kitchen tables for our show just came in and were assembled today.  These are the ones that I will be perched on for most of the show.  They are taller than the ones we've been rehearsing with.  Taller as in I have to hike my ass up and roll myself over onto the thing to get on it.  It makes me feel incredibly graceful...like a mountain goat.  It's moments like these that I feel like I'll never be older than eight years old when my brother and next door neighbor used to leap up onto this huge square electrical transformer box thing (probably not the best idea in hindsight, but it made a perfect homebase for Hide-and-Seek) and I'd spend a half an hour trying to hike myself up on it., becoming incredibly winded, with sweat dripping off my frizzy bangs (fringe, for you UK'ers).  By the time I got up there we'd be called into lunch and my victory was but short lived.  Thank the Lord that step stools have been invented.

Other than that I taught ballet again, which continues to put me in a better mood and gives me some exercise.  Though my knees are definitely not what they used to be.

We also had a Olympic Opening Ceremony party at MAR's house.  It's weird to feel a little loyalty to the Brits.  Seeing London all lit up and feeling like it is a little bit mine as well.  However, that is not to say I don't have some patriotism for the ol' US of A.  I may have laughed that Andy Roddick got his butt whooped and will be watching Murray in the Finals on Sunday. But I also did my share of bragging when the women's gymnastics team barely broke a sweat when they took gold.  I figure we have the same colors in our flag...I can represent both.  I am extremely disappointed though that I didn't know that there were Olympic soccer games happening in Glasgow and that the US women's team played here.  I've always wanted to go to an olympic event and soccer would have been crazy good.  But alas, not this round.  So close and yet so far.

I'm afraid that pretty much covers it.  Not all to thrilling I'm afraid.  And it is passing like a blur.  In the words of Sam Cooke (I've been hooked on oldies SO much as of late), "A Change is Gonna Come".

See you soon   x