One thing I love about rehearsals is that when we do and say things in our every day sessions, we sometimes take a moment and realise that if they were taken out of context and placed in the real world, they would be beyond strange, which is where the title of this post comes from.
In truth, Keith was talking about my Mermaid costume and the fact that they are adding a six to eight inch train for the tail. I had my semi fitting today. Semi being because it is only half put together. And to this moment, I never saw myself in the mirror. But the director and designers are pleased. It's comfortable enough. As comfortable as a glittery silver cat suit and sheer mermaid style skirt with cling film wrapped around my top can be. It's a bit, how did the director put it? ...Audacious. and Avant Garde. I don't know about all that, but I think it will be what it needs to be. We, however, have not yet figured out how it will work when it is sopping wet and being dragged across the floor. But hey. Baby steps.
Rehearsals have been up and down both in productivity and progress. Many of us have reached the limit of caring and are having a hard time staying motivated and inspired. But I am lucky in the group of people I have in the rehearsal room. Our space is always one of respect and support. And humor. From what I hear, other groups are not as fortunate. While we may not be exceedingly impressed with our script, we at least have a healthy process. After our renaissance project, I will never take that for granted. It hurts my heart to know that some of my good friends are struggling. That they dread every moment of the week. I am hopeful, after today, that it will be better. Their script is really beautiful and they have such a strong group that I am sure they will pull it together into something they can be proud of. But there is nothing worse than going to work each day with a weight and worry from the moment you wake up to the moment you eventually fall asleep. It takes the joy out of the job and the stress is crushing. You can feel it in their silences or in the bite of their words. It would be awful to end your MA with counting down the days as opposed to savoring what time is left. We all want to end on a good note, with very little regret. I hate feeling helpless, not being able to support them. So I'll continue to cross my fingers and toes for a quick and healthy turn around.
So back to rehearsals. There was a particular etude (exercise) that worked really well for me. The good thing about director PB is that I can ask to try anything and he makes it happen. I asked this time to do a bit of a contemporary movement thing (I know. Shocking for a "thinker" like me) where each of the other characters would take turns in the center of the space with me. Each one would physically manifest their overall emotional state for the play. And from that, since the Mermaid feeds off of others' emotions, we would find out how the mermaid physically manifests the relationship between her and the emotion given. I have to say, my group is awesome. I asked them to become an emotion. Doesn't get more high falutin' than that. And they went with it and committed. I'm not sure if it was overly useful for them, but for me, it was exactly what I needed. And afterwards I felt connected on a deeper level with most of the characters. SM and I connected on a great level of Anger. AL gave such a heavy handed version of Grief. LM...well, the lust and obsession was...sensual, to say the least. AK and I had a bit of an aggressive predatory stalking sort of thing. KT was a lightfooted and push and pull sort of Love. And NB gave a discovery and confusion quality. At times I would be wrapped around one person, or pushing and shoving another. Or just staring at SM, tensing my whole body like hers and vibrating with animosity. It was exhausting but for once, we over-thinkers weren't allowed to overthink. By taking away our words and forcing our bodies into the exercise, we (or at least I) made some headway. After each character took their turn, PB sent multiple people into the space to see what would happen when everyone's emotions pulled at me. I think it had the right effect. Complete and utter overload. Then complete and utter shut down. Which is what happens in the play. Huzzah for usefulness.
Non rehearsal related. This past weekend I went to the World bagpiping championship that was being held down the road from my flat. It was surprisingly a beautiful day out and I was very much in need of some air. Everything seems heavier these days; my legs, my worries, my eyelids, my annoyances. Everything seems to be taking an extra effort. So the day outside, with thousands (and I mean thousands) of bagpipes ringing in my ears was quite beneficial. That may sound bizarre but I'm telling you, if you got a bagpipe band playing right next to you, it is VERY hard to get wrapped up in your own bullshit thoughts. I really love the scottish traditions. They had highland dancing and caber tossing (the women and men participating were beasts!), and fair food stands, and of course lots of beer. Sigh. Sometimes I hear that whisper in my head while I feel this comfort and happiness settle over me that says, "I don't want to leave." I've done well up to this point not getting overly attached because I always knew that staying in the UK was not an option. But that whisper is becoming more frequent and much louder. Annoying bugger.
On Sunday I thought I'd get some work done on the library books I checked out. That lasted a whole of two minutes when MAR and AndL joined me at the cafe. I love them. Even when I'm bitchy they make me laugh. And what's more, they were kind enough to treat me to a movie. Money has been tight lately and I am choosing to spend what's left on actually seeing places as opposed to films. But I've missed going to the movies. It's my favorite thing to do. So we went to see Disney's "Brave." Nothing like seein' a disney film with two tenderhearted guys. I totally heard them sniffling at the end. Too cute. It was fascinating to be in Scotland while watching a film about Scottish people. Hearing the scottish people in the audience laugh and enjoy with pride that their culture is being animated on the big screen. "I don't want to leave. This is my home." Shh. That's quite enough, you.
Yesterday was my last day at the Edinburgh Fringe. Now, we are supposed to go next Monday as well. But honestly, with the shows they lined up for us, it's a waste of time and money. I have been underwhelmed with much of what we've been told to see and frankly I can't afford to buy extra shows myself. Just getting to Edinburgh alone is adding up. There are other things I'd rather do.
Anyway, yesterday, we got up at the ass crack of dawn to go see a show that started at 9am. Luckily they supplied coffee and rolls or I wouldnae made it. The show was more of a reading. It was good. Not great. But entertaining. Would have been more entertaining at noon, but you know, whatever. The next show was controversial in reception. I did NOT care for it. It was a one man show that lasted an hour. That's a whole hour of a Glaswegian man yelling at me. He had one vocal level and quality: Loud. I felt that without variation, my mind wandered as I sweat in my seat. There's something about Edinburgh theatres that makes them against air conditioning. Almost every piece we went to required me to leave glistening. Which is basically a more feminine way of saying that sweat was pooling off of me. Not my most attractive of days, to be sure. Following that show we had a seven hour break. Seven. Hours. And the weather was menopausal. Hot flash of sun, pissing down rain. Rinse and repeat. During one of the hot flashes, KS and eventually LM and I found a grassy knoll at Prince Street Gardens. It was lovely. Slight breeze, sun dotting the ground through the shadow of thick leafed trees. "Please don't let me leave. I don't want to leave." Oh. God.
That's enough.
I ran lines in a cafe with KS and listened to MAR talk about his impending wedding. Enjoying the people watching and calmness/humor of my friends. "You can't take them with you." Ugh. I'm not listening!
And finally we saw the last show of the day. It was a one woman storytelling sort. It was alright. She told stories about chance meetings of some strangers and intertwined it with her own recent relationship. Frankly I enjoyed the other peoples' stories more than hers. Hers was pedestrian and ordinary at best. But perhaps I'm just a bit harsh on the subject matter. However, if I am expected to sit for an hour in yet another sweltering room listening to relationship talk without trying to pass out from exhaustion then it had better be damn riveting. Alas, it was just, meh.
Today began early with that costume fitting and continued onwards with rehearsal. Another etude today had me pairing up with LM. It's fascinating finding our characters' relationship. It is through a sort of sexual tension mixed with fascination on my part. We sit across from each other, look into each other's eyes, and for the next half hour, we move how we want to move. The director will add things here and there like "focus on the status in the relationship" or "use a word or two." We found that both his character and the Mermaid have the same status. The same pull towards excitement. And I found that the mermaid has more fight in her than I had originally thought. LM also pointed out that she only waxes poetic when he comes into the picture. I think there is an understanding between them that is deeper than I had originally believed when just reading the text. Now, how to make that read...
The rest of the day focused on finding basic blocking, stage pictures, and finally cracking the problem of that last scene when the mermaid suddenly walks off into the ocean. Yeah, we call that the suspension of disbelief. But I think we finally broke through the problem and I can see the relief on PB's face. All in all it was highly productive.
And, hero that PB is, as a reward he is giving us the morning off tomorrow so I get to catch up on sleep. I am very lucky to be doing what I'm doing. "You are leaving in less than six weeks." Oh, shut it you ol' hag.
So all is well. Not perfect, but I don't need it to be. Perfection is boring. I'd take an excessive catsuit fishtail over office work anyday. Besides, as KT said, "too much tail is never a bad thing."
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