What exactly is "ready" anyway?

So here it is.  My way of staying in touch with those I love and those who are spread out all over the world. This is going to be...well, I'm not really sure what this is going to be.  I can guarantee it will be truthful, full of stories, what I've learned and experienced, and hopefully full of joy.  I'm moving to Scotland in three days.  I'll spend almost exactly a year in Europe getting my Master of Arts in acting at the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland. 
Yeah, that's right.  You heard me.  I'm a student again.  I promise it's the last time.  People keep asking me if I'm excited and I honestly don't know.  I'm feeling everything and nothing.  All at once.  I feel insecure at times. But then I feel powerful like "I got this shit."  (Or something more eloquently put, but same idea.) 
The summer here in WA wasnt exactly what I expected and I am definitely ready for a change.  And this one is a biggy.
I've set everything up: visas, flights, airport pickup, tuition payments, and even a job (I'm an RA again).  And I'm crossing my fingers that I'll balance it better than I think.  It's annoying that I forget how much I'm capable of.  I doubt before I believe.  I think many of you actors out there can understand that.  But I am enough.  Regardless of how low, how many mistakes I make, what someone thinks about me, how I look, or who ignores me.  I am good at what I do and I do my best to make those that matter proud.  The question I always ask myself when I come up against a decision or I begin to chicken out is "Can I live with myself if I don't _____?"  And though the impending debt I'm incurring scares the bejeebus out of me, and though I sometimes wish I were satisfied with a 9 to 5 job and quiet, and though I have no idea what will happen after this adventure, the answer to "Can I live with myself if I don't get on that plane?" is NO. 
So I'ma gonna go.  And I'ma gonna do my best.  I'm going to trust God that he'll back me up when I can't do it myself.  And I'm going to hope that maybe, just maybe, for once something will be even better than I hoped. 
I won't go unarmed.  I'll take Faith's freedom to give love fearlessly. Johanna's tenacity and charm.  Virta's little secrets, Daily's tollbooth analogy.  Calvin's sweetness.  Paul's confidence and slicing opinion.  Shannon's outlandish humor and melody.  Sarah O's perseverence.  Babs' brush it off and pick yourself up attitude.  Tillie's go with the flow-ness.  Jasmine's words of wisdom and loyalty.  Meg's bestest hugs and honest goodness.  Scilla's childlike playfulness and support.  Kate and Carolyn's blunt beautiful way to look at the world.  Dan B's generosity and ability to listen without judgment. My mother, father, and brother who-though they may never understand-go along with whatever I choose to do next. 
Like any good award acceptance speech, I am Positive that I am forgetting people.  But this is already becoming as dull as this year's Emmy's.  (Really, who writes those things! ugh.)
Anyway,  here we go.  Friday morning I'll be on a plane.  Saturday morning I'll be landing in the land of kilts and people who talk funny.  Then again...I'll be the foreigner.  This is sure to be interesting.

Love you all.  And I hope that you'll drop me a line every so often to keep me in the loop of your lives.  So write me, skype me, or carrier pigeon me.  And know that I am thinking of you.